A pastor’s review of the most thorough biblical premarital resource I know
Preparing for Marriage God’s Way: A Step-by-Step Guide for Marriage Success Before and After the Wedding, second edition, by Wayne A. Mack (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2013) is the second of two premarital counseling resources I worked through during my doctoral coursework. Where Rob Green’s Tying the Knot is the book I would put first into a couple’s hands, Mack’s volume is the resource I would keep open on my own desk throughout the entire premarital process – and beyond.
The Author
Wayne Mack holds a B.A. from Wheaton College, an M.Div. from Philadelphia Seminary, and a D.Min. from Westminster Theological Seminary with a research focus on marriage and family counseling. A foundational figure in the modern biblical counseling movement, Mack has served across the full spectrum of ministry – as a local church pastor and elder, a seminary professor, a conference speaker, a counseling-center director, and a prolific author. Preparing for Marriage God’s Way brings that breadth of experience to bear on what may be the most comprehensive premarital curriculum currently in print.
The Premise
Mack’s organizing claim is that marriage is a divine institution – God’s idea, governed by God’s design, sustained by God’s grace, and accountable to God’s authority. The book operates as a workbook. Every chapter contains substantial homework assignments, self-examination questions, and biblical study material that the couple is expected to complete and discuss.
Mack does not write for a couple flipping through a paperback at a coffee shop. He writes for a couple – and a pastor – who are willing to do real work over a sustained period of time. The thoroughness is the point.
What Mack Does Well
Comprehensiveness. Preparing for Marriage God’s Way covers more ground than any other single premarital resource I know. Thirteen chapters in Part 1 walk through engagement, going deeper as a couple, real love, God’s blueprint for marriage, the most important relationship (the individual’s walk with Christ), communication (two full chapters), conflict resolution, the roles of husband and wife, finances, sex, and the wedding day itself. If a topic belongs in premarital counseling, Mack has a chapter on it.
Two chapters on communication. Mack gives communication more space than any other topic – a deliberate decision that reflects his pastoral observation that communication breakdown is the single most common entry point into marital dysfunction. Anyone who has done a fair amount of marriage counseling will recognize the wisdom of this allocation.
The post-wedding checkups. This is Mack’s most distinctive contribution to premarital literature. Part 2 of the book contains structured follow-up sessions at six weeks, six months, and one year after the wedding. I know of no other premarital resource that builds the post-wedding phase into the book itself. Mack’s structure assumes – rightly – that premarital counseling is not complete when the wedding is over. The first year of marriage is where most of the new patterns get tested, and Mack provides a vehicle for the pastor to remain engaged through it.
The homework method. Mack’s approach distributes the labor where it belongs. The pastor is not the one doing the work; the couple is. The pastor functions as the steward of the process, examining what they have done and guiding them deeper. This is biblical counseling at its best – putting the responsibility for spiritual growth where Scripture puts it, on the disciple, while keeping the pastor accountable for the oversight.
Theological grounding. Every chapter is rooted in Scripture, not in clinical psychology. Mack is not hostile to common-grace insights, but his foundation is the sufficiency and authority of the Bible for the questions marriage actually raises.
What to Know Before You Open It
Length and density. Preparing for Marriage God’s Way is substantial. A couple who is not motivated to work will find the volume of homework overwhelming. The pastor who assigns this book needs to be prepared to walk through it patiently.
Reading level. Mack writes for educated readers. The book is accessible, but it is not light. Couples with limited reading habits may need pastoral pacing.
Complementarian framework. Mack writes from an unapologetically complementarian conviction – husband as servant-leader, wife as helper, marriage as a sign of Christ and the church. Couples coming from churches with different theological convictions about gender roles will encounter Mack as challenging rather than supportive on this question. A pastor using this book in a mixed setting needs to be ready to defend the framework.
Less attention to the couple’s spiritual community. Where Green devotes a full chapter to the local church as the context for marriage, Mack’s treatment of community is more diffuse. Mack assumes a healthy congregation in the background; he does not press the couple to think about how their marriage will be embedded in it.
Who Should Read This Book
- Pastors leading premarital counseling who want one comprehensive curriculum to anchor their process.
- Couples willing to do real work and ready to be examined biblically across every dimension of marriage.
- Biblical counselors in training or in practice who want a thorough model of how a workbook-method premarital process operates.
How I Use It
In my own ministry, Mack is the pastor’s reference and the structural backbone. Green’s Tying the Knot is what I put into the couple’s hands as their primary text. Mack is what I open when I am preparing the next session, deciding which homework assignment to use, and especially when I am structuring the six-week, six-month, and one-year post-wedding visits. The Part 2 checkups are reason enough to own this book even if you never use Part 1 as your primary curriculum.
Final Word
If Tying the Knot is the warm, mentor-friendly first introduction to gospel-shaped marriage, Preparing for Marriage God’s Way is the comprehensive pastoral handbook that backs it up. Use them together. A pastor with both books on his shelf has nearly everything he needs to do this work faithfully and thoroughly.
Wayne A. Mack, Preparing for Marriage God’s Way: A Step-by-Step Guide for Marriage Success Before and After the Wedding. 2nd ed. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2013.
This review is part of a pair. See also my review of Rob Green’s Tying the Knot.